DEDICATION: Jorge Steven Lopez

Jorge,

I don’t know you. I have talked to a couple of friends that did. You were always happy with lots of smiles and a "bubbly" personality. Sweet and a kind heart from what I have been told. I just learned of your death just now. I am at work. I don’t think I have been this upset for a long time. I have never even met you, but I can’t seem to stop crying over your death. I want to say you will not be forgotten lightly. I will think about you a lot. I think about what you might have been when you grew up. I think about what it would have been like to have known you. I think about how I wish I was there to have protected you. I think about how sad your mother and father must be. I think and hope that you were not alive for the horrible things that were done to you. I think that this silly little blog post is the least that you deserve.
 

Jorge Steven Lopez: 19 years old and DEAD. Killed for just being gay. He was partially burned, decapitated, and dismembered, both arms, both legs, and the torso.

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-357813

Changes

Hello!!! I know it’s been a long time. I was letting things settle a little bit since there was a lot of negative attention being stirred up. Since I have last posted a lot has changed. Its good news over all I think.

About a week ago, Max found out that I had slept with someone and lied about it. He was out of town and we agreed not to sleep with other people. I did not mean for this to happen. I was with a friend and one thing lead to another. We are allowed to have sex with other people with-in the rules that we had set for one another. But I did it outside of this, and even worse, I lied about it. It was very upsetting for both of us. For a day or so it really looked like it was going to end. During this it had come out that Max was trying very hard for things to work my way, but it just wasn’t working. When I say "my way" this means an open relationship. When faced with the idea of loosing Max I was "woken up". I knew that I loved him, but I honestly had no idea how much. Somewhere along the way we reached a point where I cannot live without him.

Every time he had even tried to express change my reaction without even listening was, "you knew what this was when you got into it, deal with it or leave". Pretty shitty I know. I seriously had no idea how awful I was being. Don’t get me wrong, its not like everything was horrible for him, but this aspect of the relationship was slowly eating away at his emotions.

Like a light switch, something flipped and I saw everything. I saw the amount of love I had for him. I saw the unfair way I was treating him. I was pretty disgusted with myself to say the least. I have apologized more than I can say, and asked what he wanted. I asked a question I already knew the answer to. He doesn’t want to share his bf in a sexual way. At least not with all of NYC. He wants monogamy within the 3 of us to a point. Granted I had cut back on my sexual activities quite a bit, but it was still too much for him to handle. So, I agreed. We are now monogamous.

Plain and simple, there is nothing I won’t do for either one them. If it comes down to loosing them or fucking other people, then the choice was simple. I am not saying it will be easy. I am sure mistakes will happen. I am aware that this will not be an overnight change. I have had sexual freedom for quite sometime now. This is habit for me, but something that I will easily break. In addition to this I am just going to be more open to change and communication. I am still in awe that he put up with this level of arrogance in a relationship for so long. He says he loved me and was waiting as long as he could for me to realize that I loved him just as much.

He did things my way for a year and a half. It’s my turn to try his way. I don’t know if it will work. But I have a very strong feeling that it will. It’s funny, even though it seems like I did something wrong I am happy that it happened. If it hadn’t fucked up I would have never been able to understand how he was feeling. I would have never known how much I really loved him until it was too late. Even though it’s only been a week I feel things are even better than they were. He seems so happy now.

Few people get a chance to fix their mistakes. Weather this relationship works or not, this is a huge step for me as a person all together. So, things seem to be on the healing road. I will keep you all posted on things to come.

HERE TO STAY

so, i have talked to the boys and we have decided that the blog and the video stay up. we have received more positive emails than you can imagine from people. it has truly been amazing. it was not my idea for this video to be posted online, but i am happy it happened. in comparison to the bad comments the good out weigh the bad 10 fold. my mother even chimed in:

"Oh sweetie, I am doing my own fanitsizing, But people that right the ugly things, don't pay them no mind. In this world everyone is differant. That's what makes it so great. What works for one person or relationships will not work for another, and everyone will take things differantly. Max its hard to find job's but you will, and it will make you happy. And both you and Mickey are so adorable. Don't give these people a second thought, their all due their opions. But that's all they are, opions, and quite frankly their's don't matter. Im sure this blog has helped more people than it offended. And if you could help just one person, it was all worth it. I love all 3 of you so much and I couldn't be more proud. Hang in there BOY'S!!! Love Mom"

how amazing is she?!?!? we also received and email form and amazing man that heads up something i NEVER would have thought existed: www.Poly-NYC.com   this is a group dedicated to the education and welcoming to polyamorous relationships. unbelievable!! his email is as follows:

"Yesterday I discovered an online video and blog about a Gay Triad living as my neighbors here in Hells Kitchen.  I've always known it's good to know your neighbors, but I had no idea I've been living next to a triple for awhile and they were right down the street.  Smaller world than I would have guessed.

Anyway, these guys have been brave enough to expose their life to the public, and reaction among gay people has not been universally supportive.  I've contacted Justin (not me, he spells his name the traditional way with an 'i'.) and he says that his boys have been taking the criticism pretty hard, and he's thinking about taking the video and blog down.

I believe this information is extremely useful to have online.  Therefore I'm asking people from the Poly community to go to both the video and blog site and express support for their relationship and for having the balls to put themselves out there.  We need as many good visible representatives of the Poly community as we can get, and our community has to support the ones that stand up.

The video is on Youtube, but is getting a reaction on queerty.com at 

http://www.queerty.com/is-this-throuple-destined-for-happiness-or-is-a-3-way-relationship-doomed-20090916/comment-page-6/#comment-217168.  The blog is located at http://www.throuplelife.blogspot.com/, and gives a little rundown of how things are playing out.  

Let's let these guys know they are not alone and that we appreciate what they are doing for our community!"

as you can imagine this was pretty moving. we heard from a man in GA that teaches and speaks at a GLBT youth center. he is going to be using the blog in his classes/meeting with the young gays, to show there is not one way to do things. along with these there were many more VERY positive emails as well. one after another asking us not to take it down.

we will be pushing on. our friend has decided to extend his documentary. we of course will be taking things a little more seriously now. we will show more of the relationship and hear from all 3 (the depressed, the sex slave and the steroid junky). also this blog will not tolerate any hate. ZERO. having said that, all opinions are welcome as long as they are respectable. you don't have to agree with my lifestyle, decisions or even like my personality. but i think a certain level respectability is not to much to ask for. if you wish to make hatful comment please feel free to do so on the other sites.

to all of you out there that are in polyamorous relationship, were in one at one time or have thought of wanting to be in one. don't let people tell you how to live your life. don't listen to hate and certainly don't let it affect you. i will admit, it got to us a little. but now its just funny. when you think about it these people don't know us from adam. they saw a 10 min video and made their assumptions. we will continue to be here. Max, Mickey and I are not going anywhere. thank you all so much for your support.......

Torn on what to do?

So, as many of you know there is a video of us on YouTube. A good friend of ours posted this. It was for a school project that he was doing at Columbia. Well, this some how has found its way onto a couple of sights that have not had the greatest comments. http://www.justinplusone.com/2009/09/this-is-not-what-gay-throuple-should-be.html and http://www.queerty.com/is-this-throuple-destined-for-happiness-or-is-a-3-way-relationship-doomed-20090916/ .




The first is a real douche, the second was not so bad, but the comments that followed were. Needless to say this was very upsetting for both Max and Mickey. Max in particular was the most effected. They talked down to the fact that he was not working. His level of attractiveness. People claiming that I do steroids, drugs and give blowjobs on the dance floor at the black party. Ok so that last one is no to far fetched, but we all know I don’t go to the dance floor :) it for the most part became about unhappy people wanting others to be unhappy because they can tell that is works. This is threatening to them I guess. The part I did not expect was this to affect our house hold.



This was meant for a couple of things; 1. To give insight to a different type of relationship. To show that there is not only one way of doing things. 2. To keep people that I know in the loop and to let them know how I feel about them and situations I have experienced. 3. FUN!!! I thought it might even be entertaining.4. To answer questions for people that has them. We are constantly asked about our relationship and this was a great way to answer those questions.



When we made this video we didn’t take it overly seriously. We had been working all day and were very tired. Thought we were helping out a friend. I certainly didn’t know I was going to have to defend my relationship. And YES, I defended it. When you love something or someone you stand up for them. This may have been the mistake in the beginning. I have a bit of a temper and truth be told it got the best of me. Even now I am fantasizing about meeting a couple of these dudes in person. Oh the joy :)



I welcome your opinions, but if you try finding this sight at one point and its gone, don’t be too surprised :(

Summer's End

Wow, this really blows, huh? It all went by so fast. This is by far the best summer of my life. We had so much fun. Thanks to our new friends Brian and Charles, we spent almost the entire summer in Fire Island. I was in Miami for winter party. We went to Orlando for Gaydays. Black party and Pride were here in NYC. The weather was amazing. We are in the best shape of our lives. And met people that I am certain will be a part of my life for a VERY long time to come. This is a tribute to all that made our summer so nice and memorable. You know who you are. Here are some fun photos, there are a lot. I hope you enjoy :)

Quotes From Friends

"finding a parking spot in San Diego is just as hard as finding a Top in San Diego!!!"
Gabriel Joseph

"Dear Whitney, you ruined my favorite song ever. Please listen to the Carpenters (yes I'm THAT gay) version of 'A Song for You' it's pretty great. "
Greg Lippe












"I know this will sound a little kooky but my mom called to let me know that a tiny Asian frog I've had as a pet since I was a 7th grader (yes that makes the frog 29 years old... I'm totally not kidding either) died last night... I'm ki...nda sad... Lost a puppy and my frog in one day... Sad face..."
Daylen Gallman

"no old man u can not have my number...and tapping my ass is NOT going to help."
Jonathan DeNardo



"I'm not a slut, I have a boyfriend....two of them actually."
Maximiliano Rodriguez

"Im curious. When is Hanna Montana going to die? Dont get me wrong, I love Miley, but at some point, shes gonna grow up and Hanna will need to be phased out. Do you think they will make an official announcement letting us know when Hanna is no more?"
Maximiliano Rodriguez

"I wanna be burried in head to toe Channel."
Maximiliano Rodriguez

"I hope I never see another 55 year old woman dressed in a bad 1999-era Britney Spears costume. EVER."
Kellen David Wiggins

"Dear Ed Hardy: please learn when enough is enough. Thanks"
Kellen David Wiggins

"Remember "deep thoughts" by jack handy? .... "If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might- if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."
Kellen David Wiggins

"Dear Mr. Farty McFartster - When you pass gass on the abdominal machine next to mine I will let it slide the first time, but after the 4th and your still looking around like "who was that?" - Im gonna have to call you out!"
Brad Pritchett



"My text: Dad, its 7:30. I'm up and getting things done. My Dad's text: Sir, if you have my son's phone please return it. He will be up around 10:30ish."
Christopher Dean

Friends

I feel that in the gay world the word "friend" has so many different meanings. Some people feel they have a lot of friends. 20, 30, 50. It’s a concept I don’t understand. I have 4. That’s all, 4. These are people that I would die for if it came down to it. Maybe these people are "best friends" and the next step down is "friends"? Either way I am not the best at making friends. I tend to sleep with people to often, which can kind of mess that up. Though in all fairness, almost all of my "best friends" I have had some sexual encounter with before we became such good friends. I guess with my lifestyle and forward way of speaking, I can be a lot to handle.

This is a conversation that ignited the friendship with Greg Lippe. We refer to each other as brother. I think it’s because we are the closest thing either of us has to such a thing. LOL, funny story, we met in a bar and needless to say Greg is a hottie (see photo). I immediately asked him to come back to my hotel. Well, it......it was horrible. Ha ha. Kind of like sex with your brother I am sure. After I asked a narcissistic question, given his ridiculous attraction level. "Do you find it hard to make friends cause everyone wants to sleep with you?" his eyes lit up and he said "we have to have breakfast immediately!!" we stayed up through most of the night talking. It was an instant connection. I knew I would know this person forever. Even though brother lives allllllll the way in Dallas, our friendship seems to get stronger every year. He is amazing. He is 6'3”. My build as well. Extremely handsome. Probably the wittiest person I know. No one comes back with a sarcastic comment faster than brother. Now there are some differences in us as well. He is a HUGE fan of Brittany Spears. HUGE!! And he doesn’t like football so much. Sad, I know. He is sweet and caring. He has been there every time I have needed someone to talk to despite our distance apart. Is by far the best friend I have ever had? I LOVE YOU BROTHER :)

Mickey and Max make friends very easily. People they talk to constantly. Something I guess I need to work on. I am actually pretty content not knowing too many people. I think I have gotten better as time has gone on. I just find it difficult to trust people sometimes. I always feel like they want something. Shitty way of thinking I know. But I have 2 woefully social boys to balance me out :)